Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops