Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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Your gay

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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bangers and mash?

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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