oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Caramel Boing.

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Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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