Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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