Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

Robin, get in the car, please.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

chirs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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