How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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This isn't funny.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Guess Penn State Is Holding Jerry Sandusky Day this Saturday against Nebraska. All Kids 10 and Under get in Free...

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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black people

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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