What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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This sentence is a lie.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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