So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

Did you know? . You already know!

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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