What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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21

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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