Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

thumb_up thumb_down

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

thumb_up thumb_down

You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

thumb_up thumb_down

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

thumb_up thumb_down

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down

Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

thumb_up thumb_down

A retarded man speaks jibberish, because he is retarded

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops