What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops