Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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who do we all like george goodburn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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