You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

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The FCC

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

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Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops