Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why was justin sad? his family was murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops