cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops