A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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