How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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all your base are belong to mark

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Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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