whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops