In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops