I had a lemon. hi.

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops