Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

thumb_up thumb_down +21

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call white trash Garbage

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

i put a oie in the oven, it baked

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops