What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What's worse than catching aids? - already having aids.

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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lets bomb africa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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