What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

Why did the fisherman go to Alaska? The commercial fishing business is strong there and it was a sound financial decision.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

An man walks to a bra

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

Vagina Boob

Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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