My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Cheese

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops