Your gay

69.

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

Adam Thomas is homosexual

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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