why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

Why did the dog die? He was old

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

Lets Go Lakers!

Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

Your gay

What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

69.

Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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