How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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White NBA players.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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