A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

an american walks out of a strip club.

How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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