So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

This is the concept of anti-joke.

Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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