5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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hi

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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karn chevalier

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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