If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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the lemon was sweet.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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http://www.com/

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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black people

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Knock knock come in.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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This isn't funny.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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