What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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