Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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i cant STAND cripple jokes

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Heskey time.

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops