- Anti Joke

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.