A train poops its pants.

Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

Knock Knock? Come in.

In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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