What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A dyslexic blind man

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than being fat? Being gay

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

when debbie meets downer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

thumb_up thumb_down -20

ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops