Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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