Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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Laugh.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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