How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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ure mama's so fat

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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I'm HIV positive.

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what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops