Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

Q: Why do people post the same anti-joke a bajillion times in a row? A: Because they are stupid ass holes with absolutely no life.

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

wanna hear a joke? yes

What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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