- Anti Joke

What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

knock knock whos there open open who the door

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

Sex education in Texas,

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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