Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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So these two girls have a cup .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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