2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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I'm funnY!!! Haha pënis

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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