My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Check out page 4016 :)

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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