A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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boner

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops