Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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30cm = 0,3meters

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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hi

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops