How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Why? Because racecar.

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A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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Jesus wept.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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Knock knock, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops