A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops