An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

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Shea's sty....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops