An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

thumb_up thumb_down -3

sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

thumb_up thumb_down -3

WHAT THE BABIES?!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dumbledore dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The lion swallowed his pride.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops