WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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