What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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Whats black and hangs from my tree? A slave

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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