What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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Robin, get in the batmobile

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Holy Tulip Answer- Sexy Mofo

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops