Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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sadf

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

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silver bullet?

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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