Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

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Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

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What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops